LOGIC John Terry style.
Step one: Go into the first leg of a European tie knowing that a booking would rule you out of the second leg.
Step two: Launch yourself head first at Liverpool keeper Pepe Reina, hurtling through the air at speed before connecting with the Spaniard’s ribs after he has already collected the ball.
Step three: Receive one of the season’s more obvious yellow cards from a referee who realises football has moved on from the days when keepers were treated like rugby league tackle bags.
Step four: Rail at the injustice of it all, mouth off at international team mate Steven Gerrard who rightly dismisses such claims of unfairness with a mouthful of Scouse invective.
Step five: Chelsea record a notable 3-1 win which puts them within touching distance of the semi-final, making Terry’s suspension as timely as it is possible to get at this stage of the competition.
Step six: Dismiss step five, give a post-match interview in which you blame Liverpool’s players for getting you booked despite replays proving that your head undoubtedly made contact with Reina’s chest in a particularly reckless challenge which brought back memories of He-Man's cartoon mate Ram Man.
Step seven: Claim the injustice is as bad as the one which befell Xabi Alonso four years ago when an Eidur Gudjohnsen dive brought the midfielder a booking which ruled him out of one of the most glorious nights in Liverpool’s history.
With brain power like this it is little surprise that Terry was once fined two weeks wages by Chelsea for drunkenly taunting grieving American tourists in the aftermath of September 11.
He may be a good centre half but Socrates he ain’t.
